The Skalalitabs

The Skalalitabs

 Downers Grove, Illinois, USA

The Skalalitabs (based on a pun for the Qur'anic term for the Abrahamic faiths), combine ska, dance-punk, and reggae, originals and covers to put on an exciting show that will get all but the most comatose dancing the night away!


Driven insane by the boredom of Chicago's suburbia and the music on the radio, a group of young lads have gathered together to unleash their madness in a flurry of off-beat guitar grooves, dance beats, and funky horn lines in what is now called the Skalalitabs! "The Skalalitabs" is a name formed from a pun with "ska" and the Qur'anic phrase for Jews, Christians, and Muslims, all of which are represented in the band's lineup. Bringing together ska, reggae, and dance-punk into a combination never before heard, the Skalalitabs will get even the most firmly rooted of wall flowers skanking and jumping!


Too Cool For Ska

Written By: Matt Niemi

Too Cool For Ska lyrics

In Da Club intro:

Go, go, go, go go Skalalitabs, it's ya berfday
we gonna party like it's ya berfday
we gonna sip bacardi like it's ya berfday
and you know we gonna skank cuz it's yo berfday!

Brass riff

Verse 1:
Excuse me sir, but I just noticed your rather gangster
Well, I'm pretty gangster too!
And when I roll up in the club and I'm crankin up my subs, everybody know's I'm cool

And then I see those crazy ska kids
Crazy? Silly and gay, is more of what I meant
Cuz I know very well that the girls won't pay attention to me
If I don't walk and talk
Just like 50 Cent

Cuz I'm way too cool for ska, and I'm too cool for skanking
I don't have the time to dance, cuz I'm too busy holding up my pants

Brass Riff

It looks kinda fun
That crazy dancing you're doing
But I got a gangster act to keep
I don't wanna jump around looking like a freak
All I wanna do
is grind and hump for hours
Make sure I don't move to much, real live gangstas just don't act as such

I could have made this rap song on my elmo keyboard
but I don't care because it makes the bitches undulate
And if I'm cool and if the girls are drunk enough tonight
Maybe I'll take home a cheap and easy mate

Hey Professor

Written By: Matt Niemi

Hey, Professor Lyrics

Verse 1:
Hey, Professor, won’t you show us how to make that beat?
The way you work that hi-hat, it makes a sound that’s oh so sweet.
And the bass drum, it’s pounding out the answer sheet.
Give us a test and we promise that we will not cheat.

What’s the matter with the education of the kids these days?
Cuz you can pump pheromones of funk, ‘til they feel a lump, but it seems they’re stuck in interphase.
The laws of physics haven’t changed but nobody follows them. (Oh, no)
We gotta stop this gyration deflation before it swallows them.


You’re rocking the nation with your funky-ass dissertation,
So get off your seat if you want points for class participation.

Verse 2:
Hey, Professor, won’t you show us how to dress real tuff?
I bought a vest but I’m just not sure it'll be enough.
Should I seek street credit from a cigarette?
Or should I smoke a fine Cuban Romeo and Juliet?

What’s the matter with the education of the kids these days?
You could be coy, dancing and deploy all your corduroy
And they wouldn’t see it through the haze.

The pipes are calling and the stripes are falling off my pinstripe suit!
We gotta stop this raiment detainment before it goes off route!

7-10 Split

Written By: Matt Niemi

7-10 Split Lyrics

Sometimes I feel like I'm under life's heel and it's just gonna keep on walking
No one's gonna look back see me on the tarmac with both eyes black
I got two pins left one stabbed through my heart the other in my head
I can't get'em both but I was so close to having everything
Til you left me, til you left me
with the

Seven, ten, split, seven ten split! X2

It's like a seven-ten split I'm staring into a pit and I just don't know what to do
All I've got to haul is a big bowling ball and I don't think I can swing it through
I haven't even played and I've got a feeling
I'm afraid all I've got is kneeling
and I'm all alone and I'm on my own



Written By: Matt Niemi

“Gangplank!” Lyrics


Gangplank! x4

Verse 1:

Takes away all our fears
when we’re going from the boat onto the pier
If it weren’t for that piece of lumber
I would surely fall and be a stumbler on the


Brass Soli



On the gangplank, where the traction’s good
On the gangplank, where you’re understood
On the gangplank, where life’s a breeze
and you’re on your way to the open seas. x2


Verse 2:

To Chicago or Long Island,
it gets us onto the dry land.
So pack the horns and the big bass amp.
Load’em on the boat with that there ramp.

Thanks to the help of the ferry men,
We travel on as merry men.
Put together with lots of love,
We push off with one last shove on the