The Spitshine Kid

The Spitshine Kid

BandAlternativeSinger/Songwriter

SONGWRITER. I write uncommon songs with ironic lyrics and strong hooks.

Biography

This year i received 5 honorable mentions in the Billboard International Songwriters Competition (all 5 songs i entered, placed).

i'm a former screenwriter and comedy writer. i have a knack for unusal lyrics.

i'm influenced by great songwriters and musicians.

Tom Waits, Dylan, Hank Williams, Thelonius Monk, Stephen Malkmus / Pavement, Charlie Patton, Richard Hell, Hendrix, Alan Holdsworth, Steely Dan, Ray Charles, the Beatles, Led Zeppelin, the Walkmen, the Decemberists...

I have a jukebox playing in my head 24 hours a day, which is cool except when some drunk puts on "Bat out of Hell".

more songs can be heard at:
http://www.myspace.com/thespitshinekid

Lyrics

DOWN TO THE RIVERSIDE

Written By: the Spitshine Kid

DOWN TO THE RIVERSIDE
Words and music by The Spitshine Kid
© 2005, The Spitshine Kid

Ready to go down to the riverside
Gonna’ pawn all my things, gonna’ run and hide
Gonna wash my sins in the riverside
Ready to go down for the final ride

Gonna’ go and leave all my things behind
See what tomorrow brings in the river tide

Gonna run, gonna’ leave all my things behind
Ready to go down to the riverside

There’s nothin’ for me here.
I guess that much is clear
no one to shed a tear
Oh yeah
Gotta run before they take me alive

There’s nothing for me here
Tired of this noise
Men my age used to be dead
Many centuries ago
Many centuries ago

There’s nothin’ for me here.
I’m tired of this noise
Every one I know is dead
And there’s no where left to go

Gotta’ leave this place
Before I lose my face
Gonna’ leave here soon
Following the moon

This planet has a blind spot
It’s called reason
It’s called Reason

AFTER THE RAIN

Written By: The Spitshine Kid

© 2004, The Spitshine Kid

I FIGHT FOR GENERAL IRON JACKET
HE GAVE ME THIS COCAINE
IT HELPS ME SHOOT MY ENEMIES
IT PULLS THE TRIGGER, TAKES THE BLAME

GOT A BIBLE IN MY POCKET
NO BULLET CAN STOP IT
I CAN’T READ IT JUST THE SAME
YEAH, I CAN BARLEY SPELL MY NAME

THEY CALL ME QUICK TO FIRE
PRETTY SOON I WILL BE FIFTEEN

THERE ARE REBELS IN LIBERIA
OUTSIDE THE CAFETERIA
HALF A MILLION REFUGEES
REFUSE TO BOW DOWN ON THEIR KNEES

AND FOR THE THIRD TIME
I’M ON THE FRONT LINE
TELL ME WHAT WE’RE FIGHTIN’ FOR
I CAN’T SAY THAT I KNOW FOR SURE

THEY PUT A RIFLE IN MY HAND
AND THEY TELL ME THAT I’LL BE A MAN

THEY’RE CLOSING IN,
LET’S HOLD THE BORDERS
SOMEONE PASS
THE JUNGLE MORTARS

GENERAL IRON JACKET
SAYS TO GENERAL PUSH THE BUTTON
IF THE KID CAN’T HACK IT
WE WILL CALL HIM GOOD FOR NOTHIN’
IF YOU DON’T FIGHT, BOY
SURELY YOU’LL END UP IN JAIL

AFTER THE RAIN
FALLS OFF YOUR BACK
YOU BEEN DISPLACED, NO TIME TO PACK
THE CENTER DOES NOT HOLD MY FRIEND
THAT’S WHAT I’LL SAY UNTIL THE END
YOU WILL BREAK BEFORE YOU BEND

I USED TO BE
JUST ANOTHER REFUGEE
BUT REBEL FORCES
THEY CAME AND THEY KIDNAPPED ME

TOO MANY FACTIONS
CUTTIN ON THE ACTION
TORTURE, RAPE,
JAIL AND EXECUTION
WE DO IT GREAT
AND ALL WITH ABSOLUTION
CNN SAYS
TOUCHDOWN EAGLES

GENERALS, WON’T YOU LEND YOUR EAR
MANY OF US ARE STARVING HERE
WORLD WAR II SAID TO WORLD WAR III
THIS HEAVY GUN IS KILLING ME
I’LL TAKE YOU OUT BEFORE YOU TAKE ME

BUT THEY’RE MY OWN MEN
SAID QUICK TO FIRE
PLEASE DON’T MAKE ME SEND
THE BODY COUNT MUCH HIGHER

AND GENERAL IRON JACKET
SAID TO GENERAL PUSH THE BUTTON
PLUNDER IF YOU LACK IT
AND ACT LIKE EF HUTTON

AND GENERAL KICK THE BUCKET
SAID TO GENERAL WHAT THE FUCK IT
YOU WILL NEVER WIN THIS WAR
SURRENDER OR WE’LL SHOOT SOME MORE
I DON’T KNOW WHAT PEACE LOOKS LIKE
BETTER GET SOME SLEEP BEFORE WE STRIKE

AFTER YOUR TOWN
HAS BEEN RANSACKED
AFTER THE RAIN HAS SUNK YOUR SHACK
IF I SHOULD WAKE BEFORE I DIE
I’LL POINT THIS MUZZLE UP TO THE SKY
AND WIPE THIS TEAR OUT OF MY EYE

IN THE FINAL DAYS OF WWIII
MY COMRADS ALL ABANDONED ME
AND SHOTS RANG OUT
I’M FILLED WITH DOUBT

INSIDE A CAR THEY CAPTURED ME
I THOUGHT IT WAS THE END OF ME
BUT GENERAL SWEETY CANDY
SAID LET THIS BOY GO FREE

NEVER HEARD OF
ARISTOTLE
BUT IT SOUNDS POETIC
DOWN HERE AT THE
CRATE AND BARREL
WE READ DIANETICS
IT’S A BRAND NEW CENTURY
WITH LESS RESOURCES
TANK’S RUNNING EMPTY
BETTER CALL THE ALLIED FORCES

AND CANDIDATE ONE
SAID TO CANDIDATE TWO
I WOULD RUN
IF I WERE YOU

THE FLAMES ARE GETTIN HIGHER
THE FLAMES GETTING HIGHER

WOULD YOU STAND BY THIS ASHEN TREE
CLOSE YOUR EYES AND COUNT WITH ME
DON’T GROW OLD BEFORE YOUR TIME
THE ANSWER NEVER COMES FROM BEHIND
THE ANSWER NEVER COMES FRM BEHIND

dog vs. hydrogen bomb

Written By: the Spitshine Kid

DOG VS. HYDROGEN BOMB
© 2006, The Spitshine Kid

I’M JUST A LITTLE MAN
THE WORLD’S TOO BIG FOR ME
OH –OH OH OH

BE NICE TO ME BABY
CAUSE YOU KNOW IT AIN’T MY FAULT
YOU COME SWINGIN THROUGH THE WINDOW
ON A CORDLESS PHONE
AND YOU PUT ME THROUGH GESTALT
SO MANY TIMES
THE TIDE CHANGES
EVERY TIME SHOVE TURNS AROUND
PUSH IS SNIFFIN IT’S FAT ASS

YOU CAN’T SHAKE THIS YO YO OFF YOUR FINGER, YEAH
OH –OH OH OH

AND DOG SITS ON A CHAIN
SITTIN’ IN THE RAIN
AND A 4 FOOT DOMAIN
AIN’T VERY MUCH FUN
AIN’T VERY MUCH FUN
‘TILL YOU TOSS ME A HYDROGEN BOMB

BUT I FETCH IT ON MY DOG LEASH
‘CUASE IT’S A DOGGIE THING TO DO
AND I LOSE 7 YEARS FOR EVERY 1 OF YOURS
AND PRETTY SOON, BABY I’LL TURN 42


AND YOU SAY YOU GOT A SAD, SAD STORY
ONE THAT DON’T FADE OUT TOO SLOW
WELL, YOU DON’T HAVE A CLUE
HOW MUCH I’D RATHER BE YOU
THAN DOWN HERE WHERE THE BLOSSOMS DON’T GROW, YEAH

I’M SITTIN’ ON A CHAIN SITTIN’ IN THE SUN
IT AIN’T VERY MUCH FUN, YEAH
BUT YOU TOSS ME A HYDROGEN BOMB
AND I FETCH ‘CAUSE IT’S A DOG THING TO DO
BUT I LOSE 7 YEARS FOR EVERY 1 OF YOURS
AND PRETTY SOON I WILL TURN 42


AND I’M STANDING ON THE PORCH AT 3 AM
WITH RIVULETS STREAMING DOWN
MY CROOKED ABS
YOU TAKE A FRIGHTENED STEP BACK
AS YOU LEAN OVER THE WOODEN RAILING, YEAH
YOUR ASS WAGGIN’ ME AND YOUR HAIR SPILLING OUT
LIKE MOSS OVER THE GARDEN DISTRICT

IT WAS SO SWELTERING YOU COULD
SCRATCH MY DEAD SKIN
LIKE ICING UNDERNEATH YOUR NAILS
AND YOU’RE SHOWING ME PICTURES THAT YOU DREW
YOU REALLY DO GOT SOMETHING GIRL

MY HEART WAS POUNDIN WITH FEAR
WHEN YOU DANCED IN THE HYDRANT
ON A RUN-DOWN STREET OVER BY LOUIE ARMSTRONG’S
CEMETARY

WE SHOULD’VE MADE IT TO
PRESERVATION HALL
A LOT OF THINGS WE SHOULD’VE DONE, YEAH
BUT LIFE DON’T HAVE NO
INVENTORY WAREHOUSE
WHERE YOU CAN CROSS THINGS OFF YOUR LIST
YOU WERE COUNTING COCKROACHES
AND PUTTIN’ THEM BACK
ON BOURBON STREET

IN THE MOONLIGHT AT 3AM
IN THE MOONLIGHT AT 3AM

YOU TUSSLED WITH ME IN BED FOR A SPELL
BEFORE YOU RAN OUT, YEAH,
I HEARD YOU GASPING
GIRL I HEARD YOU GASPING
OH YEAH

FORGOT YOU ANYWAY

Written By: The Spitshine Kid

Forgot You Anyway
© 2006, The Spitshine Kid

CAN’T MAKE YOU HAPPY
SO I MIGHT AS WELL MAKE YOU SAD
CAN’T MAKE YOU ANGRY
SO I MIGHT AS WELL DRIVE YOU MAD

YOU MAKE ME LONELY
I’M A LONELY MAN ABOUT TOWN
YOU WERE MY ONE AND ONLY
DON’T KNOW WHY I STUCK AROUND

DON’T MEAN A THING
FORGOT YOU, FORGOT YOU
DON’T MEAN A THING
FORGOT YOU ANYWAY
DON’T MEAN A THING
FORGOT YOU, FORGOT YOU
DON’T MEAN A THING
FORGOT YOU, ANYWAY

GONNA’ TEAR MY HEAD OFF
LET IT SAIL CROSS THE DEEP BLUE SEA
I CAN’T LET YOU GET OFF
NOT WITHOUT AN SOS FROM ME

I CAN SEE YOUR EYES THINKING
OH, HOW YOU WISH I WAS SOMEONE NEW
I CAN SEE YOUR LIPS SYNCHING
ALL OF THE WORDS TO I LOVE YOU

DON’T MEAN A THING
FORGOT YOU, FORGOT YOU
DON’T MEAN A THING
FORGOT YOU ANYWAY
DON’T MEAN A THING
FORGOT YOU, FORGOT YOU
DON’T MEAN A THING
FORGOT YOU, ANYWAY!!!!

I SPIT YOUR NAME OUT OF MY THROAT
NO MORE PAIN, JUST A SQUASHED FOOTNOTE
ALL THAT REMAINS ARE THE LETTERS THAT YOU WROTE

I THINK ABOUT YOU
I THINK ABOUT YOU
A THING ABOUT YOU
I KNOW A THING ABOUT YOU

A THING ABOUT YOU
I SING ABOUT YOU
NOTHING ABOUT YOU
I NEVER THINK ABOUT YOU

I SING ABOUT YOU
I NEVER THINK ABOUT YOU
YEAH, I KNOW A THING
OR TWO ABOUT YOU

I KNOW YOU NEVER THINK ABOUT ME
I NEVER THINK ABOUT YOU
YOU NEVER SING ABOUT ME

YOU-OOOUUU
I THINK ABOUT YOU
(man, how come you’re never singin’ about me?)
I THINK ABOUT YOU
(what about my needs? I feel like I’m talkin’ to a ghost)
ABOUT YOU
ABOUT YOU
(you gonna’ miss me bad!)
ABOUT YOU
ABOUT YOU
(you’ll see)
ANYWAY, YEAH
ANYWAY, YEAH

DISSOLVE IN:
I THINK ABOUT YOU
I THINK ABOUT YOU
A THING ABOUT YOU
I KNOW A THING ABOUT YOU…Etc.

(FADE OUT)


THE BRIEFCASE MONKEY MAN

Written By: THE SPITSHINE KID

BRIEFCASE MONKEY MAN
© 2007, The Spitshine Kid


HERE’S WHAT WE’RE GONNA’ DO NOW KID
YOU CAN WEAR THIS SUIT FOR STARTERS
KEEP ONE EYE ON THE INDEX
IT’LL ONLY MAKE YOU SMARTER

I’M A SPECIALIST IN THIS FIELD
AND THAT’S A DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH
MAKE SURE YOU GOT YOUR BLUE CHIPS, SON
AND YOU WON’T LOSE YOUR STUFF
LOSE YOUR STUFF
LOSE YOUR STUFF

GET IT WHILE THE PRICE IS LOW
THIS ONE’S GOIN’ SKY HIGH
DON’T YOU ASK ME HOW I KNOW
I’M THE BRIEFCASE MONKEY GUY

WITH ONE EYE ON THE TRADING FLOOR
YOU COULD SAY I’M PRETTY SLY
I AM A GOLD AND SILVER WHORE
BUYIN’ LOW AND SELLIN’ HIGH

IT’S THE ONLY WAY I KNOW
IT’S THE ONLY WAY I KNOW
IT’S THE ONLY, ONLY, ONLY WAY I KNOW
IT’S THE ONLY WAY,
THE ONLY WAY I KNOW

LOOK AT HOW THAT INTERN WALKS
SHE TAKES CARE OF HER BODY
SHOW HER HOW YOUR MONEY TALKS
WITH THE KEYS TO YOUR MASERATI

20 YEARS OF SCHOOLING, YEAH
THEY SAY THAT I HAD VISION
BUT WHEN I GOT TO FOOLING WITH
THE FEDERAL TRADE COMMISSION
WO-OH-OH
WO-OH-OH

THEY FRAMED ME ON AN INSIDE JOB
THEY NAILED ME ON A PHONE CALL
DON’T KNOW IF IT WAS BENJAMIN
OR STU FROM RACQUETBALL

I WAS A SPECIALIST IN THIS FIELD
THAT’S A DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH
DON’T EVER DO WHAT I DID, KID
AND YOU WON’T LOSE YOUR
WON’T LOSE YOUR
WON’T LOSE YOUR STUFF
ALL YOUR STUFF
GET IT WHILE THE PRICE IS LOW
THIS BABY’S GONNA’ BUST.

DON’T ASK ME HOW I KNOW THAT BOY
I’M THE BRIEFCASE MONKEY GUY
WITH ONE EYE ON THE MARKET, YEAH
IT’S GONNA GO
GONNA’ GO SKY HIGH!

I SAID, I’M THE BRIEFCASE MONKEY GUY
THE KING OF BUY AND SELL
EVERY DAY I LOSE MY TAN
IN THE OL’ CROW-BAR HO
OLD CROWBAR HO
OLD CROWBAR HO-TEL

END

Discography

Albums:

Solo: The Spitshine Kid: "Wishes Can't Swim", "Dentures of Peril"

albums with the band, FIRE CAMP
- Overnight
- Burn
- 2.0
- Platter of Fire

with band, THE POX
- The Pox
- Nebuchadnezzar's Last Stand
- Hungry for Your Shwarma

also played lead guitar on tracks with hip-hop artist,
King Famous