Third Grade Teacher
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Third Grade Teacher

Band Rock Punk


This band has not uploaded any videos
This band has not uploaded any videos



""A postmodern Led Zeppelin""

"My third grade teacher didn't sound nuthin like yer third grade teacher. GREAT F***IN RECORD! I didn't know anybody could rock like that anymore. Worshipping at the feet of your greatness."
- Charles M. Young

""If you haven't already heard of Third Grade Teacher, you will soon...""

"If you haven't already heard of Third Grade Teacher, you will soon, because this band -- which sounds like Woodpussy, the Pandoras, L7 and the Breeders all rolled into one -- has the rare ability to make a roomful of people stand still and listen." - LA Weekly

"Impact Press Top Pick!"

"Wow. I mean, wow. This is some seriously heavy and demented rock and roll. Drawing heavily from the roots of modern rock (Led Zep, Sabbath, etc.) this is a relentless rock and roll ride. Screaming and sultry, smooth and jagged, all at once. Exciting, demented and great. I'll put my kids in her third grade class anytime." - Impact Press

""a great band worthy of attention...""

"Third Grade Teacher is a great band worthy of attention. It is good to leave the audience baffled at times, as it shows the artist is reaching beyond audience expectations. It is good to rock like hell at times, as it shows the artist is meeting audience expectations. It is good to take everything in your mind and heart and turn it into effervescent sonic art. 3GT do all these things and more." - SKRATCH Magazine

"The Roman Empire of anthem rock"

"Third Grade Teacher is heavy, except when they're pretty and sweet, or when they're playing rock anthems, or when the birdcall vocals enter, then you're not sure what's going on any more, except that it's right. Third Grade Teacher writes songs that, after a couple of listens, you seem to have known for years. Except when they're so goddamn heavy you simply beg for more pummeling. They have respect for the classic order of hook, riff, and pop structure, but bend it to suit their mutant vision, where every genre is seized by the throat and made to serve them, the Roman Empire of anthem rock." - Nicholas Johnson, author of Big Dead Place: Inside the Strange & Menacing World of Antarctica

""Dark, passionate, and punk-ass threatening""

"The rock they carve is dark, passionate and punk-ass threatening, with an occasional noise-piece excursion tossed in, sorta what the moaning noises would sound like at a Sonic Youth/Hole/Patti Smith orgy -- beautiful, but ominously so." - OC Weekly

"My highest recommendation"

"This band is the best thing to happen to classic rock since the Alice Cooper boxed set... head-splitting lampoons of Led Zep, Thin Lizzy, Patti Smith and early Velvet Underground... My highest recommendation." -- Ron Garmon - Mean Street

"Heavy, sexy, and outta sight"

"They have absolutely no regard for coloring within the lines of any rigid genre conventions (except, maybe, for LOUD), merrily hopping, skipping, and jumping through jangly roots rock, bouncy pop-punk, thrashy garage, stomping arena rock, and even a lick or two of flash metal... Heavy, sexy, and outta sight." - Sleazegrinder

""You will not be disappointed.""

"The band has the ability to go from straight-on noise to rock ballad without losing its edge or its identity... You will not be disappointed." - Campus Circle

"Now this is an after-school special"

"Now this is an after school special, my friends... This album simply takes all the things that I love about music and depth of emotion and living a reactionary existence... Rock with brutal intensity. Stevenson is the female Iggy crossed with Kim Gordon. Brilliant, just brilliant." -


Third Grade Teacher Greatest Hits Vol. I; The Underklass; 3; Third Grade Teacher (self-titled); Third Grade Teacher Reveals the Secrets of the Universe (just out); plus various compilations and movies. Radio airplay from KXLU and others (please see our site,, for the latest); currently streaming "Fantastic Pantsuit" and others from our new record.



Purveyors of the finest punk, heavy psychedelic and classic rock from all over (see Velvet Underground, Pixies, Led Zeppelin, Sex Pistols, Queens of the Stone Age, Black Sabbath, Boredoms...) clad in Catholic school uniforms. Yes, singer Sabrina really is a third grade teacher, both beguiling and frightening in a Linda Blair kind of way, and Laura, David & Rob also have the power and authority to discipline your ass.