Turbine Irvine

Turbine Irvine

BandComedyMetal

If you have never heard my music, imagine Dirk Diggler dry humping your ears.

Other Info

Cover band: 
No

Lyrics

Ballad of a Dragonslayer

Written By: Turbine Irvine

Ballad of a Dragonslayer

have you ever woken up from a drunken sleep
to find yourself buried beneath a mountain of meat
there's a girl beside you as big as a fridge
and a dried up condom stuck to your dick
you say sweet jesus what have I done
the last thing I remember is a jager bomb
and now I’m trapped and there’s nowhere to go
it looks like my arm is being eaten by mashed potatoes

god up in heaven with your long white beard
can't you get me out of here
I know she's probably nice and has beautiful eyes
but an Eskimo family could live for a month on one of her thighs

God up in heaven with your chiseled pecs
Can’t you get me out of this mess
The great beast has started to wake
And the twitching of her bum cheeks is like the shifting of tectonic plates

Brlrlrllllllll dun dun dun dun
Dalalalallaal bak bak
Brllililll dun dun

It's okay to slay a dragon if your loser drunk
but you have to get away before she wakes up
and don't get caught in a booby trap
or you'll find yourself buried in a fleshy avalanche
and don’t get me wrong I’m not trying to be mean
but that girls the fattest tub of fat that I’ve ever seen
and I know big chicks need loving too
but I think I just had sex with a monkey that escaped from the zoo

God up in heaven with your pearly gates
Can’t you help a brother make an escape
I made a flab angel with the fat of her back
But my leg got stuck in her ass crack

God up in heaven with your ten inch dong
Let me survive so I can sing my song
All you got to do is get me out of this house
And I don't know, maybe not let my friends find out

Brlllllrlll dun dun
du dun dun dun
Du dunununun
Falalallaaaa
Brllrllrl#**&):"lllll dun dun