TV Carnage

For the last few years, Toronto's Derrick Beckles has been compiling excerpts from some of the the worst TV Shows and commercials ever into magical festivals of badness called TV Carnage. See everything from charmingly painful talent contests to bible-belt squirrel-cooking shows. Now fresh to DVD, it's channel surfing at its worst, but also quite possibly the funniest way to waste an hour and a half of your life. Wear yer boots. - STRUT

So you think you know bad TV. (Hell, you probably help make it.)

Huh? The Bachelor? Celebrity Deathmatch? Thompson Twins videos?

You’ve got another thing coming. TV Carnage, an organization devoted to finding televisual wretchedness around the globe, wants to show you just how bad it gets.

And how bad is that? Their most recent video compilation, When Television Attacks, is chock-full of special moments like a KISS appearance on Kids Are People Too, a Philippine variety special with a group of people singing and acting out Billy Joel’s “It’s Still Rock and Roll to Me,” and grunge figure skaters. Your VCR hasn’t laughed this hard since that Porky’s marathon.

Want more right now? Check out the website, where they explain: “If you were to think in terms of fashion, this tape rivals the Acid-Wash Jump Suit phenomenon in its ability to shock and amaze.”

How’s that for so bad it’s good? - Daily Candy

Unless you’ve had your head up your ass your whole fucking life, you know that Richard “Big Pinky” of TV Carnage Inc. is the motherfucker who watches five hundred hours of shitty TV and then edits it down to an hour and a half of pure fucking gold. Unbelievable shit like a man singing “Shalom” on Sunday TV but with a really high voice because he’s supposed to be an unborn baby and why would you kill someone that sings you nice songs?

“This shit is way fucking out there, this motherfucker,” says Richard from his home base in Montreal. “Where I used to do this shit all by myself and spend months fucking with two VCRs and shit, I now have big-time motherfuckers like Mike Judge and shit going, ‘I can’t believe I’m giving you my only copy of Squirrel Melts (a cable-access thing on how to hunt and eat squirrels)’ and I’m putting all of it together on this crazy-ass editing machine I bought from the previous shits.”

Richard started this shit like, five years ago, and has since made it his full-time job. He’s had festival screenings in Toronto and New York and has even had Anne Heche (what the fuck?) hold a private carnage party at her house in L.A. “She’s fucking cool,” adds Richard, “but I was shit scared because I didn’t want any of her industry friends busting me and shit. I don’t know how legal this motherfucker is.”

Legal or not legal, watching this shit stoned is sort of like being Albert Einstein while getting your pussy licked. It’s intense pleasure enjoyed by a really big fucking brain. And now this motherfucker got it on DVD so when you see some really fucked up shit like a Queens cable-access show with a crazy bitch singing her version of “Teasie Louise” dressed as a fucked up cowboy, you can go to the main menu and check out the unedited version.
This is the fucking shit, motherfucker. Wait ’til you see it.

BAZZ ROSSDALE - Vice Magazine