Witness The Fitness!!!

Witness The Fitness!!!

BandComedyAdult Contemporary

Witness the Fitness is like slapping your wife, taking way too many hits of acid, loosing your mind in the quad of a college campus, then running naked and screaming about Judge Reinhold and baked potatoes; the next morning you don't remember anything, but it was fun.


Please note that Witness the Fitness is in no way fit, physically.

Jacob Therington Herrin Nixon Esquire Therington Esquire IV, esquire (his friends call him "Jake"), and Shane Chaffin, D.M. ("Doctor of Metaphyscis") are evil twins. Meaning of course, that they were tragically separated at birth, but are still both evil, inexplicably.

The two were introduced because a high school friend noticed that they both thought a certain person looked just like Eugene, the effeminate, tap-dancing nerd from Disney's Animated TV show "Hey Arnold!". Jake played one of his first songs that night: "I Butt F***ed Your Billy Goat Last Night" (now out of rotation). They immediately loathed each other, and formed a band.

Witness the Fitness writes and records all their own songs, manages its own booking and website operations, and generally just tries to have fun doing what they love.

Both Jake and Shane are self taught musicians with two decades plus worth of musical experience between them. Statistically, that is equal to approximately 3.7 million Fifty Cents. That's TWO MILLION DOLLARS!!! Who would want to be responsible for that kind of devastation?

Well. Devastation is open to interpretation.

Gaze into the circus that is Witness The Fitness.

Also: [as a disclaimer]

(We're fond of disclaimers)


We Googled Jordan

Written By: WTF!!!

The political structure of Jordan is a constitutional monarchy
that's lead by King Abdullah of the Hashemite dynasty
There’s a bicameral national assembly
with a forty member House of Representatives
where each member of the House serves a four year term!
and the jurisdiction of the Navy and Air Force
are in the hands of the King
And the leader of the house is elected annually...

Well I think that is pretty great
The nation of Jordan's not only a state...
its a Nation!
a Country!
I love you Jordan

Hangin' With Bear and Fish

Written By: WTF!!!

Bear and Fish

He’s a bear from a woodland area
He’s a fish from the aquarium
One has paws and the other has gills
One eats fish and the other gets killed by bears

Just hangin with bear and fish
Never knew life could be like this
Hangin' with bear and fish

Learnin' life lessons one day at a time
Working dead end jobs, just to get by...
Fish works at the market, Bear’s a stay at home dad
Bear is codependent and Fish gets real mad at Bear

Just hangin' with bear and fish
Never knew life could be like this
Hangin' with bear and fish

Fishing with a Bear
Swimming with a Fish
Fish and Bear

BEAR VOICE: I’m a motherfuckin’ bear…nah.... Nah!..... NAH!


Songs Witness the Fitness has made available in streaming format, and free download at our internet spaces:



The Other Guys
WTF <3's GOD
Retired Constables for Gryffyndor!
Hangin' with Bear and Fish
We Googled Jordan
The First Date Skit
Journey Math
Rome Mania!

Set List

These are some of the songs we might play. It varies, depending on what we feel like performing.

- WTF <3's GOD
- The Confession of Congressman Mark Foley
- Magic (The One Key Song)
- Belias the Gigas
A. Faith
B. Science
- Statistics
- The Ballad of Billy Boobless
- Jefferson Twilight Destroys Atlantis
- Alladin
- WTF! Gospel music!
- The Genocidal Exceptional Olympics
- September 9 1+1 = 2 Good to be Truth
- O Holy Night
- We Googled Jordan
- JellyBoneSplosion
- Rome Mania
- Lost TV Theme Song: Hangin with Bear and Fish
- Buddha Sucks the Java Down
- Intergalactic Explorations of the Seventh Star of Subaru