Zero Mass

This beautiful baby band was born to 2 happy parents on May 8, 2002 in Daly City, CA and weighed in at 9 lbs, 8oz. It's early childhood was rough, and it didn't get much attention the first year. The parents, one a guitarist/vox (Matt Poland) and the other a drummer (Alvin Chan), weren't really fit for parenthood and it was taken away by a social worker in early 2003.

It was then returned to them in early 2004 on the condition that they feed it regularly. They named the cute little baby band "Zero Mass" in recognition of the fabulous weight loss program. The baby band was finally ready to show in late 2004. In February of 2005, it was adopted by a 3rd parent, who played bass for it. In early 2006, the little band had some trouble adjusting to international stardom and had to take a break. In the course of 2006, it was deserted by all family except Matt Poland, who had nothing better to do anyway. Diagnosed with ADD and an identitiy crisis, Zero Mass was prescribed several anti-depressants, which it sold to local TV evangelists and right-wing talk show hosts for a nice profit.

While in recovery and residing the lovely, drug-free haven of the Tenderloin District in San Francisco - known for its sunny beaches and scenic trails - it finished its first EP, "Six String Theory". In late 2006, a couple of local roustabouts, legal names Harrison Leong and Matthew Lucas, decided to foster the young band by playing drums and bass, respectively.

So look out for Zero Mass in a club (or CD player) near you! Seriously, please look out for it, it's kind of unaware of its own surroundings.